Forgive me for being crass, but is anyone else's husband's head lodged up their own rectum like mine is?
The other night he came home from work late where I was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine watching House Hunters. It was the last part of the show where they reveal which house the people chose, and there's really no point in watching the show unless you get to see those last 4 minutes. Jeff sits down and says, "Is there anything to watch? Anything DVRed? Was there a new episode of -" Um, I am sitting here actively WATCHING something. THIS is what's on. Just because you worked late doesn't mean I sit here in silence with the TV off waiting for you to come home to begin having any fun.
Then later I got in bed while he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, washing his face, resolving the national debt (I don't know what he does in there for so long). He comes in to the bedroom where I've got the covers pulled up to my head. I yawn and say "I'm so tired," when he decides now would be a good time to launch into a story about work. One of those stories where he has to explain each character and each technical term he's using "You know, Dave? The one I told you about yesterday with the thing and the stuff. You know! Dave! He's tall and -". No, I don't know Dave, and unless Dave has just died and left his millions to you, this story can wait until tomorrow. I'm going to sleep. He said "well, your light was on." Yes, I left the light on so that you wouldn't have to blindly stumble to bed in the dark. Wasn't that nice of me?
Why do men seem to have such a hard time reading pretty blatant social clues sometimes? I remember thinking that all the time in college. When a guy would like me and I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, so I'd just ignore him (uh, because THAT never hurts anyone's feelings), but he would just KEEP at it... But come to think of it, I kind of did that with Jeff, and look where that got him, so this point is clearly going nowhere.
But then I remembered why I put up with it this morning while watching the news about someone who was trapped in an elevator for 41 hours.
Me: 41 hours?!??
Him: That's like your dream come true. You'd come out of there after 41 hours the most well-rested woman in the world. People would be asking "How did you stay in there for 41 hours?" and you'd say "How did you stay out HERE for 41 hours?"
Me: True. I'd probably be passed out in the floor after 5 minutes.
He knows me too well. Sometimes solitary confinement sounds like heaven.
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