2013 in Review

Here's last year's Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before? Felt real labor contractions... other than that I'm drawing a blank... potty trained a toddler? 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I said "For 2013 I'd like to try to find a moms group to join. I want to save more money and be a more positive person. And I want to be more creative, however that manifests itself." Um, I'm pretty sure I did none of those things. Way to go, Hope! As for 2014, I want to lose weight and be more frugal and save more money. I also want to be nicer to my husband.   

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Me! And a good friend had a baby about 3 weeks before me.

4. Did anyone close to you die? I'm always too superstitious to answer this question before the year ends, but no - thankfully, gratefully - no.

5. Where did you travel? We went to West Virginia for a wedding in June, and Mia and I road tripped to Saratoga Springs to visit a friend in August.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? Last year I said "Another baby, or the prospect of having one." I'm so happy I got what I wished for! In 2014 I want to find our Forever House, specifically one where the floors don't creak and sound doesn't carry like a sonofabitch. Where I can get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night or put in a load of laundry during nap time without worrying I'll wake everyone up. 

7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? February 7 - the day I got a positive pregnancy test. October 12 - my due date. October 21 - Gracie's birthday.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making it to 9 days past my due date without murdering anyone. Oh, and carrying and birthing a healthy baby.

9. What was your biggest failure? Unfortunately the same thing I said last year, any time I lost my temper with Mia. And anytime I was not very kind to Jeff.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? The whole family got a horrendous stomach bug in February when I was 8 weeks pregnant. And recovering from another csection.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I went a little wild decorating Mia's big girl room, and she loves it so much I'm glad I did.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Seriously all of my family and friends were so very helpful in my last few weeks of pregnancy and after Gracie was born, making us food, watching Mia, etc. It made my heart so full.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I'm drawing a blank, so I'll leave it, no need thinking up appalling, depressing things for nothing. 

14. Where did most of your money go? The mortgage.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Meeting Gracie and not being pregnant anymore! And my brother and his family moving about 10 minutes away from us. 

16. What song will always remind you of 2013? Probably Katy Perry's Roar because Mia loves it and asks me to play it constantly.
 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Happier, I suppose, not that I was at all unhappy last year.
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter, ugh
c) richer or poorer? Richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?  I wish I'd been more frugal and saved more money. 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? I wish I'd lost my temper less.

20. How did you spend Christmas? We spent Christmas Eve at my brother's house. My parents stayed with us Christmas Eve night and we all had Christmas morning at our house. Then we went to Buffalo to visit the inlaws Christmas afternoon. It was a little too chaotic for me, and Mia did not sleep well or nap and was falling apart by 5pm Christmas, but the whole Christmas season was so fun this year with a toddler beginning to understand what it's all about.

21. Did you fall in love in 2013? Oh yes, with my new little girl.

22. What was your favorite TV program? The Good Wife, Top Chef, Homeland. Jeff and I have just started watching Breaking Bad from the beginning and we're loving it. 

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Nope.

24. What was the best book you read? Waiting for Birdy by Catherine Newman and Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell.

25. What was your favorite music? I spent most of the year listening to The Black Keys station on Pandora.

26. What did you want and get? A healthy baby!

27. What did you want and not get? A new living room rug. 

28. What was your favorite film of this year? The only movies I saw in the theater this year were The Heat and Monsters University. The movies I enjoyed most this year were Zero Dark Thirty and The Way, Way Back.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 31. I was 35 weeks pregnant at the time, so no hard partying this year. We went out to breakfast and then my family came over for pizza and cupcakes. My Greek neighbor brought over homemade spanakopita and another neighbor brought a homemade coconut cream pie. They knew the way to a pregnant lady's heart.
 

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, and a baby that didn't require exhausting amounts of bouncing and shushing to fall asleep. 

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013? I started out trying to find cute maternity clothes, then I just wanted shirts that covered my belly and pants that didn't fall down. Now I'm just trying desperately to not look like the frazzled, lumpy mom I feel like inside when I leave the house.

32. What kept you sane? Sunshine.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Joseph Gordon-Levitt

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Healthcare

35. Who did you miss? Anyone I don't see every day. 

36. Who was the best new person you met? Gracie

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.  I'm 99% sure this is my last baby.

2012 in Review

This year felt much quieter than last, so this survey was harder and may seem a little boring, (not that I felt bored for all of 2012) but I still appreciate the reflection. 

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before? I got a tattoo... and many firsts with Mia: Her first birthday, first time on an airplane, first time at the beach, first haircut, first ER visit, first night away from her. 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I said, "I don't really think I made any last year. For 2012 I think I'll go on record to say I'd like to be a better friend. I don't think it always comes naturally to me, so I need to try harder. I'd also like to make more friends. Maybe more mommy friends for play dates. And losing this baby belly pooch would be pretty awesome too, but I'm not going to aim too high." I do think I worked on becoming a better friend. I didn't really make any new friends though, maybe some acquaintances to chat with on the playground, but not really friends. And I definitely didn't lose the baby pooch. For 2013 I'd like to try to find a moms group to join. I want to save more money and be a more positive person. And I want to be more creative, however that manifests itself.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Everyone I know. We got a new nephew on March 22nd and a new niece on October 22nd. And two good friends had babies in the spring.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No. Phew.

5. Where did you travel? We went to Sanibel Island, FL in July with my parents. It was an awesome vacation. Other than that we made lots of trips to Buffalo and Syracuse to see family.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012? Another baby, or the prospect of having one. 

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 22 and October 22 (see #3)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I don't think I had one crowning achievement, I just think I'm realizing more and more that I am good at being a stay at home mom, and for now this is the right path for me. I'm also pretty proud of how much I exercised this year. I might be in a rut right now, and I didn't lose a lot of weight, but overall I found some bliss in running in the summer and I found a group exercise class I enjoy. 

9. What was your biggest failure? Anytime I forgot Mia was just a little girl and lost my temper. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope. 

11. What was the best thing you bought? A new dishwasher. It has changed my life, no joke.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I'll just be sappy and say Mia. She's just so smart and funny and sweet. I'm so proud to be her mom. 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Mass shooters, I'll just leave it at that. 

14. Where did most of your money go? The mortgage.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Mia's birthday, our vacation to Florida, my 30th birthday

16. What song will always remind you of 2012? Call Me Maybe or Gangam Style, just because they were so prevalent. Or maybe Kenny Chesney's El Cerrito Place because we listened to it a lot and for some reason I feel like it speaks to me.
 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? About the same.
b) thinner or fatter? About the same.
c) richer or poorer? About the same.
 That's kind of depressing - Ending up in the same place I started!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?  I wish I'd been more frugal and saved more money.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? I wish I'd lost my temper with Mia less. I'm not proud of it, but there it is.

20. How did you spend Christmas? We had our own little Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at our house for the first time which was so simple and relaxing. Then we went to my parents house for Christmas which was not relaxing, but so so wonderful in its own way. 

21. Did you fall in love in 2012? Every year I say, "More and more with my husband and my girl," and that will hold up until the end of time.

22. What was your favorite TV program? The Good Wife, New Girl, Top Chef, Nashville, and Jeff and I are entrenched in the first season of Homeland right now. Can't get enough.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No.

24. What was the best book you read? Mudbound by Hillary Jordan

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? I am not on the cutting edge when it comes to music at all, and did not really diversify my listening any this year.

26. What did you want and get? An awesome 30th birthday. A DSLR camera.

27. What did you want and not get? Pregnant. Oh well, there's always next year. 

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I think I saw even less movies this year than I did last year. Hmm, I enjoyed The Hunger Games.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 30! Jeff surprised me with dinner with family and friends at a fondue restaurant and then had a limo take our friends out so we could pretend we were 21 again. It was so much fun, even if I felt all of my 30 years the next day. 
 

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If Mia slept past 6 am.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?  I basically just gave up on ever being any kind of clothes horse and decided to create a uniform for myself of jeans and black tops or jeans and cardigans.

32. What kept you sane? Nothing. My anxiety is at an all time high.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I know I'll think of a better answer later, because I'm always exclaiming, "oh, I love him/her!" but for now I'll say Obama, because I heart him as a person. 

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Gun control. Without a doubt.

35. Who did you miss? Every year at Christmastime I miss my Grandfather so so much. And I still miss my family even though they are not that far, I daydream of all of us living down the street from one another. 

36. Who was the best new person you met? My new little neice and nephew. 

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012. That I need 8 hours of sleep a night to be anything resembling my best self. And maybe sometimes I will have to carry on on less than that, but at least I KNOW that about myself.

2012 in Books

I'm pretty impressed with how many books I managed to read last year. Here are my short little book reports. My favorites are indicated with asterisks.

1. When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

The first half was laugh out loud funny, and I am rarely the type of person to laugh out loud at a book. Road Trips was an especially funny story. The second half was slower.

2. This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper

This is exactly the kind of book I cannot put down and want to read in any free moment I have. Yes, it may be formulaic. Yes, the characters may have been a bit one-dimensional. Yes, I could see a movie script rolling out with little trouble, something in the vein of The Family Stone. But I loved it. It was funny and fast paced and had some great one liners.

3. *State of Wonder* by Anne Patchett

The synopsis on the book jacket was not at all interesting to me, but I had heard so many people rave about this that I had to give it a try. I'm glad I did. It was like reading about the strangest dream I've ever had, yet it was so realistically rendered and the characters were so fleshed out and flawed and rich. I loved it.

4. How to Talk to a Widower by Jonathan Tropper

After 2 Tropper books in a row I see how formulaic his novels are, and yet I really enjoy them. Mediocre Jewish guy marries up, has a narcissistic mother, a father who didn't hug him enough and a slightly inappropriate relationship with his sister (does Tropper HAVE a sister?). But again, it was a fun, easy, light read that had some interesting insight into losing a spouse.

5. Bel Canto by Anne Patchett

I may be the only person on the planet who didn't LOVE this book. I had a really hard time getting into it. The plot was interesting, yes, but maybe there were TOO many characters all of who's heads we were jumping into and out of. And without giving anything away, I HATED the epilogue.

6. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling

Funny, quick, I want to be BFF's with Mindy.

7. Husband and Wife by Leah Stewart

This book started out whiny for me. I didn't like either the husband or the wife and didn't really care what happened to them, but I'm glad I kept reading, because although I never really grew to like the characters, I loved the insight into how a marriage can fall apart, how spouses can grow apart and then together again. It reminded me a bit of The Heights by Peter Hedges with the same fly-on-the-wall insight into the dissolution of a marriage of Blue Valentine.

8. *The Fault in Our Stars* by John Green

This was such a beautiful book. It might be classified as Young Adult, but nothing really makes it so other than that the main characters are teenagers. I was impressed that Green seemed to capture a teenage girl's voice pretty well. It was funny, poignant, and incredibly sad.

9. Half a Life by Darin Strauss

Here is where I realize I need to stop reading such depressing books... But seriously, I didn't like this. It's written in a very train-of-thought kind of way which I often have a hard time getting into. Sometimes it just takes me a while to get into the author's head, so I gave this a chance, but I never could get into Mr. Strauss's groove. I respect that it was intended to be a very real account of his emotions and grappling with how he felt and how he SHOULD feel after such a life-changing event, and in real life our emotions and reactions aren't neat and tidy, but it was quite disorganized feeling. Maybe that was the point, though? Maybe I am not highly evolved enough for this. Then I read in the acknowledgements that Dave Eggers had a heavy hand in editing this, and I recognized his trying-too-hard voice all over it. I'm just not a fan of Eggers' voice in memoirs.

10. Confessions of a Scary Mommy by Jill Smokler

I don't really remember this that well now. It was recommended by a friend. It was a quick read, and kinda funny, but not anything I hadn't heard before.

11. *Gone Girl* by Gillian Flynn

Holy sociopaths! As my good friend said, "[Flynn's] characters are chock full of WTF." But I could not. Put. It. Down. And although a lot of people took issue with the ending, I felt like it fit the characters.

12. Blueprints for Building Better Girls by Elissa Schappell

I barely remember this only a few weeks after reading it. It's short stories, that much I remember. I just remember I felt like there was too much "mystery" and too much left unsaid that we were meant to read into the characters, in every story and I didn't like that.

13. This Beautiful Life by Helen Schulman

The premise is intriguing (15 year old boy receives a pornographic video via email from a 13 year old classmate which ends up going viral. His family proceeds to fall apart). One small misstep by an otherwise good kid can change his whole future. It made me do a lot thinking about how I, as a parent, might avoid such events. But then the whole thing fell apart. Schulman rushes the ending, like she had gotten these characters into such a clusterfuck she didn't know how to get them out. And we end with a glimpse into the 13 year old's future which was strange because she wasn't really the point.

14. Looking For Alaska by John Green

I read this on vacation... that's... all I remember? I mean, I remember the plot, but I can't say it affected me in any real way. I'll say it was just good.

15. *A Grownup Kind of Pretty* by Joshilyn Jackson

Loved this.

16. Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner

I enjoyed this. It makes me wish I had a close group of girlfriends.

17. Maine by J. Courtney Sullivan

Eh. Quick, beachy read.

18. **Mudbound** by Hillary Jordan

Probably the best book I read all year. Maybe the only book I've ever openly wept while reading. And one of a few that I think I'll re-read.

19. Girls in White Dresses by Jennifer Close

I kind of hated this. Jennifer Close has a really bleak view of marriage, and I don't think she even realizes it. She wrote about every male-female relationship (and there are many in this book) in the same grim way, but wrote it as if we all feel this way and we're all just accepting it. For the record: No.

20. Canada by Richard Ford

I really hated this. God it was boring. The plot is extremely interesting (a teenage boy's parents become bank robbers - and everything that lead up to that process - and he is sent to live in Canada with a stranger), but it is so long and drawn out with so much description of the landscape. Around page 300 I really thought hard about throwing in the towel, but I powered through and, gosh, I wish I had just quit and not wasted my time. But hey, my dad thinks this will win the Pulitzer, so obviously there is some disagreement about whether this sucked or not.

21. The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides

I think this book benefited from the fact that I read it right after Canada. It was long and not much happened, but instead of page upon page of descriptions of the country-side it was page upon page of character development. Which I love. And my dad would have hated it. I told him I didn't think he'd like it and not to read it, but on second thought I should have bought him a copy to get back at him from making me read Canada.

22. The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman

It took me a long time to get through this book, but I don't mean that as a strike against it. It was actually quite good, it was really moving and kind of depressing in a way that I didn't expect.

Dear Mia: Part 11

You are almost 21 months old now, and I have to say this age is HARD. You are naughty with little concept of consequences. You hit, you kick, you bite, you throw things. You follow directions one minute, then completely ignore me the next. I am realizing that this age is as much a test for me, and a learning experience for me, as it is for you. I sometimes expect a bit too much of you because of how bright you are, I forget how young you still are. But even so, sometimes taking you out in public is like going out with a drunk girlfriend. I know you KNOW how to behave, but for the moment you are short on the resources to do so.

I also realize that any naughty behavior is purely for attention at this point, in fact, if you are being naughty while I am not in the room you will tattle on yourself, shouting, "Mia standing on chair!" which you know you're not supposed to do.

You ask "Wuh-sat?" about everything, even things you know. A million times a day I am answering "What IS that? Do you know?" And now it was morphed into "Wuh-sat, right dere?" usually said while pointing at a total stranger in the grocery store. Or "Wuh-sat -blank- doin?" Which is actually pretty funny, like the other day when you pointed to the button on my coat and said "Wuh-sat button doin?" 

We talk about Christmas a lot, and my genius idea was to take you to see the mall Santa several times in the hopes that you would eventually sit on his lap for a picture, but it has totally backfired as we've been three times now and you just seem to get more scared of him every time. The first time you walked right up and high fives him. The second time you walked right up, but stood in front of him shaking with fear, and the third time you wouldn't even wave to him as we walked past. In fact you often mutter to yourself, "Sit Santa's lap?" And then shake your head with a scowl, "No. No. No."

You are, however obsessed with Rudolph which you only refer to as "Roof-off Red-nose Reindeer Had Shiny Noooooooose." You command me to sing it several times an hour, and can finish each line yourself. If we hear it on the radio you shout with glee (see what I did there?) as if it is playing just for you. You love your Christmas pajamas that have reindeer on the feet and request I put them on you at every diaper change. You call them your "Roof-off Jams."

You sit for hours a day looking at your books. You love going to the library, sitting at the little tables and chairs and having an infinite selection to flip through. You are very into the Clifford books right now, having completely dogeared the two books we own. Whenever we visit someone else's house you seem to have a radar that hones in on where they keep the children's books and are happy to sit reading, ignoring the chaos around you. One of my favorite things in life is listening to you read books to yourself. It only takes one or two readings by us for you to essentially memorize the book and repeat it to yourself in your own little abridged language while flipping the appropriate pages.

On the flip side, the most annoying thing you do is repeat EVERYTHING you say until someone acknowledges you (in fact, as I write this I realize your dad does the same thing), and, girlfriend, you feel the need to narrate everything. I spend my entire day saying, "Yes, Elmo is red. Yes, I see you looking out the window. Yes, I HEAR Rudolph on the radio." And God help us all if your dad and I are trying to have a conversation in your presence because you will just repeat yourself until you turn blue in the face.

You are not a dancer. You love music and singing. You love jumping and climbing. You live drawing and painting, but you don't dance. This is weird to me because I can't help but tap my foot to any beat I hear and your dad likes to dance too. I just thought this was interesting to note.

Your favorite toys are probably your stuffed animals which we call your buddies.Your favorite is probably your Minnie Mouse whom you carry all over the house talking to. In fact, she is becoming your scapegoat sometimes for naughty things you know you aren't supposed to do. I hear your little voice in the other room saying, "Minnie touch Daddy's treats?" as I hear rustling in the candy bowl I thought was out of your reach, and I catch you holding Minnie up so her hand is in the bowl.

 You have become a somewhat better eater over the last couple of weeks (or maybe I have just lowered my standards). In fact, I've gotten you to eat some carrots and spinach in the last week. Some of your favorite foods are instant oatmeal, vegetarian "chicken" nuggets, yogurt, blueberries, beans, milk, peanut butter, pancakes, bacon, not mention any sweets you can get your hands on.

You are learning your colors. You cannot make hard "c" and "k" sounds. You often refer to yourself as "Mia Bo Bia." You call the hood on your coat a "neighborhood," which I totally perpetuate because I think it's awesome. You love to be tickled. You shriek with joy whenever your dad comes home from work. You are still an early bird, chirping happily at 6am every morning. You love slides. You are currently a little afraid of the shower after accidentally turning the showerhead on during bathtime.

There are some horrible, scary things going on in the world right now, my love, and my own mother tells me the only way to cope is to pull every one I love closer to me, so excuse me if I smother you with kisses and blow raspberries on your belly every hour on the hour. You are my heart personified, and I don't know what I would do if harm ever came to you, so all I can do is tell you I love you a million times a day. All I can do is hope that you know how much love surrounds you, because it is a whole lot. A whole lot, little one.

Dear Mia: Part 10

You are about 18 1/2 months old now. I started writing this post about a month ago and have had to go back and edit and rewrite a lot because you change to much, so quickly. 

You LOVE coloring and drawing - crayons, pencils, sidewalk chalk, your Magnadoodle, you love it all. You take your sidewalk chalk and walk up and down the driveway, crouching randomly to make mysterious looking marks (your dad calls them gang signs), before toddling off to scout another location. And you spend hours a day standing at the coffee table coloring in your coloring books.

You love music and singing. You try to make your dad and me sing on command by demanding specific songs. You also love to sing them yourself, but sometimes get self-conscious. Your favorites are probably Old MacDonald and The Wheels on the Bus.

You have a made up word that we cannot figure out the origin of, but we know that it roughly translates to you wanting something specific. You point and say what sounds like "mah-san" or "mah-shawn."

A few weeks ago you, your dad and I were outside and we told you we were going hunting for Dinosaurs and Elephants. You walked dutifully down the street, stopping every once in a while to crouch down, swivel your head side to side and shout, "Di-so-wah! Hey you?" (Dinosaur! Where are you?) "Eh-flat! Hey you?" (Elephant! Where are you?) It was exactly as cute as it sounds. It killed me dead. That's all I have to say about that.

You are still the pickiest of eaters. Most days you eat one decent meal and subsist on crumbs the rest of the day. I'm not sure how a person survives on ketchup and milk alone, but somehow you are still thriving. I try not to let it stress me out, I don't want to be the root of any food issues you may have down the road, but it sure is frustrating. Even more frustrating than the picky eating is the food throwing, which may just send me to an early grave, but I'll refrain from ranting about that for fear I may never stop.

We took our first trip to the ER in the middle of September. I was swinging you around by your arms and when I set you down you screamed and then wouldn't or couldn't move your right arm. Your dad and I listened to you scream for about 30 minutes as I felt increasingly positive that I was the worst mother in the entire world. We decided to take you to the hospital and I had visions of a waiting for hours, of X-rays and a tiny cast, of having to answer to a social worker. As I walked in and saw a waiting room full of kids in wheel chairs or with bloody noses, I felt like I might throw up. I couldn't stand the thought of having to sit there and wait while you were in obvious pain. But I walked up to the receptionist and told her through my own tears what had happened. She nodded to a nurse and they both agreed, "Nursemaid's elbow," and a doctor and two residents quickly ushered us to a chair in the hallway and reset your dislocated elbow right then and there. Apparently it's a really common injury among little kids, and 5 minutes later you were offered a popsicle which you reached for with your injured arm, and we were in and out in an hour. But man, I have no idea how I am going to deal with a lifetime of injuries and heart break with you. I want to wrap you in bubble wrap and never let you leave the house.

You recognize most of the letters in the alphabet. You correctly identify several different shapes. If we ask you what color something is, you always answer "green!" You can count to 14, but you always leave out the number 10. You know people's names, but if I ask you, "What is her name?" you always answer "Mia!" You call all balls "b-balls." You call potatoes "peek-a-boos" (which KILLS me every time, and I hope no one ever corrects you). You call ice cream "airplane." You insist that hippos are called "hope-ios" and that Elmo's goldfish is named Lucy (it's Dorothy). My nickname for you is Cuckoo or Cuckoo Bear. You would prefer to be naked. Always. You don't like wearing socks, but you love to have your feet tickled. When we cuddle you stroke my arm, wiggling your little hand up my shirt sleeve to touch my skin. And when my hair gets in my face you very gently try to move it out of my eyes, if you're unsuccessful you take my hand and say, "fix it, Mommy." When you suck your thumb, you rub your ear with the other hand. You've begun to suggest we do things by saying "how bout..." Like, "Mo' mote? (more milk?) No, no, how bout dooce (juice)?"

Your memory astounds me. You recognize that Wegmans is the store where you get cookies. After going to a Toddler Time gym class just once you remembered, a week later, that at gym class there was a slide and balls and you got stickers. You remember the words to countless songs and can recite some of your favorite books.

Oh, I could go on and on...

Parenting books warn against putting labels on children. We're not supposed to say, "Oh, she's my shy one," or "You're such a good girl!" We don't want to pigeonhole our children for the rest of their lives. But I find I couldn't label you if I tried. You are everything. All at once. 

Mia, you are the sun, the moon, and the stars.

I am still trying to figure you out. I will never be done figuring you out.

Dear Mia: Part 9

Mia, you are just about 16 1/2 months old now, and you are a complete whirlwind. I read a book recently that described a character as "half girl, half hurricane," and Mia, that is you to a tee. You are wild. You dance and sing and spin around and shriek with laughter, but if I sing you the wrong song you shout "No. No. No." and shake your head so hard you might fall over. You are spunky, feisty, a spitfire. You are one extreme and then another. You are laying in my arms sucking your thumb cooing, "hi, baby," and then you are up attempting to climb on top of the coffee table.

Everyone comments on how verbal you are for your age. You seem to learn a new word everyday. It only takes you hearing a word once sometimes for you to catch on. There are some words that you mispronounce that I never ever want you to learn to pronounce correctly, like butterfly ("blah-fly"), elephant ("eh-flat"), umbrella ("blah-la-la"). Lately when I tell you I love you you answer back, "Blah blue (love you)." I die.

You have started combining words; "all better (when I kiss your boo boos)," "all done," "help me," "push you," "hold it," and "no throwing (said while throwing things)."

Which leads into the most frustrating thing we are dealing with with you, which is how quickly you get frustrated. Your ways of coping with this are by throwing things or by banging your head on things (on purpose, in case that was unclear). We are working on this by trying to give you alternative ways of coping and by rewarding you with stickers if you make it through a meal without throwing food. But it is most embarrassing when you throw things at other children when you don't want to share (and sometimes when you do want to share but they don't want whatever you are sharing). The only way to deal with this seems to be by exposing you to more kids, but I worry about any casualties we may have in the process.

You are still a pretty picky eater, but I tell myself you will eat when you're hungry, and you do. You love fruit, any fruit will do; bananas, cantaloupe, watermelon, strawberries, apples, pears, grapes. You still don't like vegetables, so we still feed you your pureed green beans at dinner. Again, the cashier at the grocery store probably wonders why I'm still buying baby food, but you eat it without complaint, so I'll keep offering it. Other than fruit you like yogurt, oatmeal, vegetarian "chicken" nuggets, pizza, macaroni and cheese, hummus, rice, and the weirdest one: pad thai.

We took you on your first airplane ride to the beach a few weeks ago. You were a great little traveler and the week at the beach was everything I hoped it would be. You were fearless in the water, running right into the waves. You loved playing in the sand and collecting shells with Grandma. You are an absolute water baby.

You slept better than I could have hoped. One day you woke up at 4am to start the day, but other than that you were a dream.

You fell completely in love with your grandparents on this trip. All day long you shouted "Da-ma!" "Da-pa!" whenever you saw them (which was about every 5 minutes) as if Elmo and Justin Bieber had just entered the room. And I know your grandma and grandpa just ate it up.

Your memory has begun to blow me away. While we were in Florida you kept saying "Horsey! Riding!" and I would ask you what you were taking about and you would say "slide!" and the only explanation we could come up with was that you were recalling a carnival we went to on the fourth of July where you rode a merry-go-round over and over and went down a big slide riding on a burlap sack. It's awesome to feel like we are actually creating memories with you, no matter how short-lived.

You love stickers and Abby Cadabby and Elmo and reading and bouncing on my knee while I sing to you about riding a horse. Every day you ask to have a "pony" in your hair. You love your slide and your swing. Your hair has become bleached blond by the sun and you seem to favor your right hand when coloring and using a fork. You love your cousins and our neighbor Kassie. You give kisses on command. You love bathtime and animals. You can count to six if we prompt you with "what comes after 2? etc." You recognize the letters M, O, and A. You can point to, name and make the sounds of countless animals. You blow me away, kid.

I reprimanded a boy on the playground for throwing wood chips in your face. Afterward I was surprised at myself. Surprised at how quickly I had scolded him, at how confident I felt in my words, and then at how afterward I wanted to cry because I never ever want any one to be mean to you. I texted your dad wondering if I was this upset in such a situation where you came out completely unscathed, what will I be like when someone truly hurts you someday? I might break someone's arm.

 

Mia, not to mix weather metaphors here, but you are complete and absolute sunshine in my life. Hourly I look into your face and can't believe how cute, how sweet, how spirited and FUN you are. I am so so proud of this little person you are, and can't wait for more...

Dear Mia: Part 8

You are 14 months old now.

I think you understand most of what I say to you at this point, which means all these months I've been wondering if you understand what "no" means, now I can answer that you do, even if you play dumb 99% of the time. I'm on to you.

Every day you are saying more and more words. Just for my own records, here are the words you say now (although I may be the only one who understands them): Mama/mommy, Dada/daddy, Nana, Papa, Elmo, water, puppy, buddy (we refer to your stuffed animals as "buddies"), night-night, shoes, socks, hat, up, down, off, more, meow, doggy, woof woof, hair, nose, eyes, arm, knees, ball, baby, apple, airplane, moon, pizza, Mia, Kassie, Lulu, poo poo, potty, Abby, read, hi, splash, bye, car, no, ready, glasses.

You know your own name which is the happy accident of giving you an easy name. You look at yourself in the mirror and I ask "Who is that?" or I ask you what your name is and you say "Me-yaaaaa."

If you can't say a word you just won't even try. We'll coax, "say Timmy!" over and over and you'll just stare at us, then we say, "say Mia!" and you'll parrot back "Me-yaaaa."

You are still an early bird, waking up at 6 or 6:30 every morning. I never thought I would consider 7am to be sleeping in, but here we are. You wake up with boundless energy, and I cannot even fathom all the other parents who claim their 1 year-olds occasionally sleep until 8. I would be convinced you were dead if you slept that late. 

Now that you are sleeping through the night like a normal human being and are generally fun to be around, the question of when to have another baby enters my mind. Sometimes I think, what if you are awesome enough all by yourself? Maybe I don't need another one. Maybe I want to focus all of my love and devotion on you. I always thought that if I had one kickass kid I would obviously want another one, right? But you are so amazing that I'm afraid of having anything to distract me from you. Obviously I KNOW that the "something" distracting me from you would theoretically be another kickass kid, but I have not met that kid yet. I have not fallen in love with them yet, so I can't quite get on board with it.

I watch videos of when you were a chubby baby and I thought that would make me yearn for another newborn to snuggle, but all it makes me want to do is go back in time for 5 minutes to snuggle you again. At this point I don't want ANOTHER baby, I just want to relive YOU as a baby again.

The idea of going through those first few months with a newborn and ALSO having a toddler makes my palms sweat. But sometimes I close my eyes and remember the moment I first saw your face or the first time I heard you laugh and I have this twisting in my stomach that tells me I KNOW I will do it again. I just don't know when.

You still undeniably have my eyes, but as your face becomes less the round cherubic face of a baby and more the lean face of a child, the fact that you are your father's daughter is overwhelming. You look less and less like me and more and more like him every day. The eyes are mine, but everything else about you is him.

Your hair is the lightest shade of brown (the longer it gets, the lighter it seems, and I cannot believe that last summer you had dark hair and that I was convinced you were going to be brunette) and your eyes are still the same dark blue as the day you were born, but now they have the faintest flecks of brown around the pupil. I'll give it until your second birthday until we really determine what color they are.

You love to dance and listen to music. You turn in circles to "Ring Around The Rosy" and clap your hands to "If You're Happy and You Know it." We've been going to a music class on Wednesday mornings where you shake maracas and march around the room. You mostly just love to be around the other children...

You LOVE other kids. You stare and point and laugh in their presence or often you walk right up to another kid and just stand right in front of them as it seems this is your understanding of how to make friends.You try to share your toys with unsuspecting kids who may not want to play with you, which almost breaks my heart with how pure and unashamed the action is and because I want EVERYONE to want to be your friend.

You love to give kisses. You kiss everyone I tell you to. You give your dad a kiss, then turn your head to me for a kiss, then back and forth. You kiss your stuffed animals then pretend they are kissing each other. I had no idea a kid so young could pretend things like that, but you also like to pretend to give your babies bottles (it's amazing how girls are little mommies right from the beginning) or you pretend to put sunblock on me as I put it on you or you hold objects up to your ear like they are a phone and say "hiiiiiii."

We finished breast feeding on your birthday. I was so worried that it would affect your nighttime sleep, but you could not have possibly cared less. I am confident that it was the absolute right time to stop now. You had gotten so wiggly and you would pinch me and slap me, I can't imagine still doing it at this point. And now you are chugging whole milk like a champ.

You love Elmo more than life itself. Nothing else captivates you like putting Elmo's World on TV. I have nothing to expand on here, I just figured it was worth noting for my own memories.

You still love being outside. You love to go to the playground and climb to the top of the slide. The anticipation of going down is more fun for you than actually sliding. But you go down holding my hand. You love to swing and play in the sandbox. You love playing in the water. I can't wait to take you to the pool and the beach this summer because you don't mind getting your face and head wet and you don't care how cold it is. You just want to be in the water. You take my hand and put it in saying "posh (splash)."

You are in a phase where you love climbing and jumping too. You have a skinned knee at the moment, and I see many more in our future. You love to get up in my bed and just throw yourself around. You are not a delicate flower. You fall down and get right back up again, and I admire that so much about you.

Mia, you are rough and tumble. You are feisty and strong-willed and independent, but so so sweet, and I love you with such intensity it could knock my off my feet. I remember hearing before I had you that having a child was like having your heart walking around outside your body, and that is exactly what this is like. I am vulnerable with you out there in the world, but I couldn't be more happy and proud to watch you grow and learn and dance to your own beat. I never want you to stop doing that. Not ever.